You know you have (untreated) thyroid disease when …


… You catch yourself checking out others and wondering if they might have it too.

… You don’t have a pencil thin moustache like Agatha Christie’s Detective Poirot (although you might if you have PCOS), but instead you have a pencil thin ponytail.

… The song Bette Davis Eyes really strikes a chord because you can SOOO relate!

… You’ve read the latest medical studies before your doctor because you realized a long time ago that too few doctors keep up-to-date when it comes to thyroid treatment.

… Your wardrobe is full of three or four different sizes for your hypo and hyper phases.

… You’re a patient advocate for your mom, your friend and your cat because you remember only too well how hard you had to fight to get proper treatment.

… You’re a member of five forums and get email updates for them all … Gradually, weeding through 100+ emails a day is getting a little overwhelming!

… You’ve tried paleo, South Beach and the Atkin’s diet and ended up putting on weight with them all.

… Your doctor tells you you can’t possibly be hypo because you’re too skinny, too pretty, too intelligent … check whichever applies!

… You’ve caught yourself eyeing up your cat and enviously wondering how the hell she manages to stay so freaking slim and still sleep all day.

… No matter what you eat, you’re always hungry for more and are starting to feel like Ms. Pac-Man, ready to eat up everything in your path.

… Your gym and you have a hate-hate relationship as you are still traumatized from all those years of working out daily, but struggling and failing to lose weight and tone up.

… You find it hard to relate to other hypothyroid patients because they’re constantly complaining about their weight gain, whilst you’re struggling to keep any weight on. You’re also afraid to speak out for fear they won’t understand. Just shows how everyone is different and there’s no “cookie cutter diagnosis”!

… You time your watch to get up at 4 am in order to take your pill according to the Circadian T3 Method. You also own a mercury thermometer that’s made its acquaintance with your armpit on several occasions.

… Your worst nightmare is being caught in a nuclear war and not being able to get refills.

… The inside of your arm looks like someone’s done target practice on it because your doctor is so keen on taking your thyroid levels every five bloody minutes! Thanks to this, your friend has asked you more than once if you are a Heroin addict.

… NHS/Insurance = your new favorite swearword!

… You’ve stopped telling the truth when people ask you how you are.

… You save money on contraception because you never feel up to sex anyway!

… You’ve been tempted to go out and hunt some pigs to make your own form of Armour.

… The latest movie Ted reminded you less of a cuddly toy and more of Thyroid Eye Disease.

… Most of your friends have thyroid disease too because they’re the only ones who really get it and won’t be pissed if you have to bail out at the last minute because you’re just too darn tired.

… You can swallow 10 pills/supps at a time “like a boss” and you enjoy taking the tops off your pill bottles because it feels like you’re treating yourself. You wait anxiously by the door for the postman when you’re expecting the delivery of a new type of supplement.

… You’ve met more than one ignorant git who thought that your disease was called “thyroidism” and that the main symptom was an addiction to food.

… No amount of makeup can hide your thyroid scar and in fact you don’t want to.


By Sarah Downing

My name is Sarah. I was born and grew up in England and currently live in Düsseldorf, Germany, with my fiancé Corey and my cuddly cat Biscuit. I work as a translator and writer for my own company Aardwolf Text Services ( and I love vintage clothes and music, as well as singing karaoke.

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