This poem was written at age 15. Throughout my school years, I was terribly unhappy and found refuge in my writing. That is when I wrote so very many of my poems as I have always found it easiest to write when there is something I feel emotional or passionate about, whether in a positive or negative sense.
I’m caught in a trap and I need to get out
I cannot scream; it’s impossible to shout.
Yearning for things that I can’t have
My desire for these are great
This yearning and burning within my heart
I know to be my fate.
I should have learned my lesson now
As I’ve been hurt before
I’m asking to be hurt again
I’m fighting my own war.
Within my heart there lies a wound
This wound may never heal
However much I want it to
Whichever way I feel.
I’ve never had what others have
I hope to have one day
But what’s there to have when you’re caught in a trap
And you have a beast to slay?
I’ll never talk of my desires
I’ll lock them in my heart
And then I’ll throw away the key
And make a fresh new start
(05/2/1993)
